G is for Grief

continuing my series "The Alphabet Soup of My Trauma Healing Journey"

“People aren’t only healing from trauma they endured. They’re healing from the life they lived in survival mode. … They’re healing from the grief of what could’ve been had they not been traumatized in the first place.” –@natepostlethwait

When we hear the word grief, death is most likely the first thing which comes to mind. Or perhaps the name of a particular person you loved and lost comes to mind. But grief has so many different facets and forms, and today, I am here to talk about another type of grief: the grief we experience after trauma.

Loss of health. Loss of innocence. Loss of childhood. Loss of relationships. To name a few.

Trauma derails our lives in more ways than one. Perhaps you feel you lost your childhood because you were forced to grow up too fast. Maybe you have collected a whole host of diagnoses, likely stemming from your trauma. The body truly does keep score (go read the book by that title written by Bessel Van Der Kolk if you haven’t yet – it is so helpful!). Often, children who experience trauma are much more likely to not only experience PTSD, anxiety, depression, and other mental illnesses, but also to be diagnosed with chronic illnesses or to experience chronic pain and fatigue. Perhaps you lost your innocence and were forced to do things a young child should never have to know about, let alone participate in. Or maybe, the coping mechanisms you turned to in order to survive led to more loss – loss of friendships, sobriety, jobs, healthy relationships, etc.